


Grateful

by blumen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 07:21:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2539211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blumen/pseuds/blumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you," Levi mumbled into his hair, placing a lingering kiss there. </p><p>"That's not going to fix me, Levi."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grateful

**Author's Note:**

> **Warning for mentions of self-harm and depression**

Levi understood by now that Eren didn't like to talk when he was going through one of his moods. In fact it made him worse. 

When Levi had returned from work he was greeted to the sight of inky watercolour paints sprawled out across in the carpet in a clusterfuck of a mess. Several paintbrushes laid on the messily spread out newspaper, dampening the thin paper with fat droplets of muddy water. Splatters of wild colours adorned the floor where Eren was sat cross legged. 

The black sleeves of his sweater was pulled back to his elbows, baring his icy-white scars. With more tenderness than one would expect from someone as rash as Eren, he gently traced an outline of various patterns crawling down the length of his arms. Rough, but precise lines of ink laced across his wrists delicately. Eren stared intensely at his moving hand, face scrunched up in concentration. 

Levi had always been jealous at how talented Eren was at art. 

But he knew Eren wasn't just feeling creative. His chest constricted painfully at the shadowy bags resting beneath Eren's eyes. Levi knew Eren's dark spells had been coming back recently with how much they had been fighting. He only wished he could knew how to deal with them better, for Eren's sake.

Wordlessly, Levi neatly took off his shoes and placed them by the door before crouching down next to Eren and picking up an abandoned brush. Talking to Eren would just end up in an argument, so he silently helped the other male to shade in the swirling shapes with vibrant hues. Eren would talk to him once he wanted to. They'd be able to dicuss it later, but now Eren just needed a distraction, and Levi was always willing to help. 

He was cautious not to touch his scars as Levi positioned his arms to fill in a line better, knowing how uncomfortable Eren would feel if he did so. Levi's designs weren't as complicated or as intricate as Eren's were, but he was careful with his strokes and created simple but pleasing patterns. Their brushes occasionally clashed with each other, but Levi would just move his hand without saying anything. 

The ink smudged and began to run down Eren's arms when he began to cry. His hands shielded his face as his head fell into them. His knees drew into his chest which he leaned on with his elbows.

Seeing Eren cry felt like being repeatedly stabbed in the stomach and then having your organs ripped out. Levi always felt useless knowing that he couldn't truly understand what Eren was going through. He always doubted how much of a help he really was. 

Levi was always awkward when it came to emotions but he knew he couldn't leave Eren alone just because he felt uncomfortable; he was cold, but he wasn't an arsehole. Wrapping his arms around his shoulders, Levi leaned towards Eren's body and tightly hugged him close to his chest. He knew the paint would be a bitch to get out of his shirt later, but he didn't utter a single word as Eren's body softly trembled. 

"I'm sorry," Eren sniffled whilst pulling away. He angrily wiped away the tears spilling from his expressive eyes, "I know I'm hard to be with, and I shout at you, and I say horrible things, but you stay anyway,"

"That's because I want to," Levi said, voice barely above a whisper, "You've never burdened me, Eren, even if we do fight. We wouldn't be normal if we didn't,"

"But I'm not normal, Levi!" Eren cried out, "This!" he gestured to his wrists, "Isn't normal! None of this is!"

"Just because it isn't doesn't mean you have to be ashamed," Levi replied, "I'm not saying to be proud of your scars, I'm just saying you don't have to hate yourself for them,"

"Easy for you to say," Eren muttered bitterly. 

"Yeah, I guess it is," Levi admitted with a sigh, "I can't say I know what you're going through because I don't, but I want to help regardless,"

Eren released a long breath, and dropped his head onto the curve of Levi's neck. They sat in silence for a few moments before Eren shattered it.

"Can we just go to bed?" Eren asked with a tiredness that wasn't just due to lack of sleep. 

"Of course," Levi complied.

They stood up and left the tools scattered on the floor. In any other situation Levi would have demanded that the mess was to be cleaned up immediately, but clutter was the last thing on his mind. Levi helped Eren wash off the drying paint caked on his arms before collapsing into bed. It was kind of sad to watch the beautiful markings melt away under the tap.

Levi coiled the thick, white sheets around them both like a rope. Eren buried his face into Levi's still-clothed chest and heavily exhaled. Levi's skinny fingers laced through Eren's tangled locks, attempting to comfort his lover. Eren hummed appreciatively and tangled his legs with Levi's. He liked how surprisingly warm Levi always was. 

"I love you," Levi mumbled into his hair, placing a lingering kiss there. 

"That's not going to fix me, Levi," Eren groaned, raising his head to stare deeply into Levi's eyes. 

"Who ever said you were broken?" Levi retorted with a raised eyebrow, "I'm not stupid, Eren. I'm not expecting my love to magically heal you; I just need you to know that I love you,"

Eren was silent. His eyes portrayed his conflicting emotions as clear as glass. Levi kissed away the fresh tears that had begun to form and trickle down his cheeks. 

"Thank you, Levi," Eren whispered, "I'm grateful,"

"Don't be."

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted some nice fluff whilst still having some angst and this is what I sneezed out. I had no idea what to call this either so excuse the terrible title. Hope you enjoyed reading ^^


End file.
